I kept thinking this can't be my life. For the first few days afterward, I kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare. Somedays I still don’t believe it’s my life, that I have to choose to actively speak about my sons in vague ways, never my first and my second born because that takes away the reality that I have given birth to three boys, always my oldest and my youngest. At Bodhi’s memorial, I read the Elizabeth Stone quote “Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body,” and talked about how losing a child is like having a piece of that already vulnerable heart ripped away and it will never grow back.
Meal planning (or not meal planning and then scrambling) is something that really adds to the mental load every day. I've tried a lot of systems for this task and I think I've finally landed on one that works for us. I hope it can work for you too!
Birth is beautiful, messy, wonderful, intense, unpredictable, and life-changing. In a matter of hours or days, women and their families experience what is arguably the most intense physical phenomenon known to us: transitioning a watermelon-sized human from the inside of the mother's body to the wild and bright outside world.
The work is the mother's, really—supported by her loved ones and usually by nurses, doctors, midwives, or all three. Sometimes, too, by that special soul known as a doula.
Essentially what that means is: Mindfulness is about being aware of our present moment experience, both internal and external. So often we find ourselves living anywhere but the present moment - rehashing the past or rehearsing our fantasies of the future. Knowing that we cannot change the past, nor predict the future, what do we have left? This present moment. Given that we can’t run away from the present moment (though we may try), we might as well be there for it! Mindfulness is about being aware of the present moment, as it is, however it is, and recognizing that it will change because the nature of life is impermanent.
Okay, so you've found yourself looking for a job during your pregnancy. Maybe this was part of the plan all along, or maybe you didn't quite anticipate this situation, but one thing is for sure: job hunting is definitely trickier when you've got a bump in tow, no matter whether the bump is big and beautiful or still under wraps.
And here you are! You're looking for a job. How can you make the most of your search despite a few extra challenges?
Curious about breastfeeding rights, laws, and resources in the city of motherly love?
There's a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation out there on the wild web about breastfeeding in public, and I'd like to clear a few things up as well as share some Philly-specific information about breastfeeding and pumping.
First of all, congratulations are in order. You're going to be a mama! Or maybe you're already a mama, and you're adding to your family. Either way, this is a time full of excitement and nerves, including those nerves brought on by the inevitable responsibility of letting your boss know that you're pregnant. So, what do you need to know about how to do this gracefully and professionally?
In our last post in this breastfeeding series, we decided to come clean that in the beginning, breastfeeding will hurt for many women, and that it's normal to feel some pain at first. But what if the pain is so extreme that you start to dread baby's feeding cues? What if it goes on for many weeks, with no signs of improvement? What if baby's latch is causing your nipples to look misshapen after a feed?